Chapter 10
DESTINED TO RID THE LAND OF SPAM ~ KEEPER OF THE KIWI SENSATION
MAGAZINE
 
 
 

     They entered the tower, and looked over at several of the elevators
there.  They were all at the top floor.

    Amelia reached out and pressed a button and the lifts slowly descended.
     “Do you have any clue where we’re going?  I’ve never been here - I
doubt any of us have so it might take us ages to search for Lina.”  Felia
commented

     “Why don’t we start at the top and work our way down.  Kidnappers
like high, dramatic places where they won’t get caught and it’s a long
weekend.  I don’t think the Tower’s open.”  Xelloss dug his hands into his
pockets.

     "You’re so sure of yourself,” Felia looked suspiciously at her pet
peeve. “Why?”

     “Hm, hm hmm.  That is a secret.”
     “Why am I not surprised?”  Zelgadis gave an exasperated sigh and
stepped into the elevator as it’s door opened.

     They all squeezed in and after a brief period of “Please remove your
elbow from my ear?”  and “Would you be so kind as to NOT place your hands
there?”, they choose the second to last floor, to the big observation deck.

     “Ahem.”  Xelloss grinned.  “I feel it only fair to warn you that I
know someone who might have been behind this whole kidnapping thing.”

     “Who?!”  Amelia demanded.  “Justice MUST be served.  There is no way
in all Seiyluun I am going to let the perpetrator go unpunished for his
evil behavior!”

     “I thought Seiyluun was just your last name?”  Gourry was confused
again.

     “I don’t know.”  Amelia realized.  “It just came out that way…”

     Xelloss continued.  “Naturally I was shocked to learn someone
handsome, decent and all round intelligent was capable of something like
kidnapping a pop star sensation.  But that’s the way the cookie crumbles,
I guess.”

     “Who did it?”  Zel was chomping at the bit to annihilate them.

     “That is a secret.”

     “Why’d you bring it up then?”  Zel had grabbed Xelloss’s collar and
was tugging ferociously.  “How could anyone do that to someone so…so….
innocent?”

     That was the second time Felia had heard the nasty little redhead
called “innocent” and she was damn fed up.  “Innocent my big toe!  She’s no
more innocent than he is smart!”  she pointed to Gourry.  “She’s a
cantankerous, impatient, loud, arrogant, little twerp!”

     “I don’t mean innocent like that.  I mean, she’s honest, right?”
Zel asked.

     “Well, yes she is.”

     “And she’s never hurt anyone - I mean, for no reason at all?  She
doesn’t seem snobby, or downright mean.  She’s polite to strangers?  And
she’d help if someone asked for it.”

     “You’re right on all but the last one.  She never helps ANYONE unless
there’s something in it for her, something worth her while.”

     “I do the same thing.  What about you?”

     “Well, I suppose so.”

     Gourry figured he had honed in on the main point of the conversation.

    “I like to help girls like Amelia.  This Lina doesn’t seem to be able to
handle herself very well.  I bet she needs someone to help her out
sometimes.”

     “Yes, I’m sure you’re right.”  Felia consented, knowing he wasn’t.

     Xelloss was just relieved everyone had stopped making death threats.

     “And as for you!”  Zel turned and resumed his position, namely, ready
to make Xelloss the first man on the moon WITHOUT a space suit.

     “Forgot to knock on wood.”  Was all the reporter could think to say.

     Just then a small chime sounded and the elevator doors opened.

     “Saved by the bell?”  Xelloss suggested meekly.

    “I don’t think so.”

    Zelgadis tightened his grip.

     “Do come on, Zelgadis!”  Felia said.  Once we’ve found Lina, I’ll HELP
beat the shit out of him.  But for now we’re wasting time.”

     Zel gave Xelloss a final menacing look for the sake of drama, and
stepped out of the elevator and on to the big observation deck.  The room,
furnished with several random pieces of furniture, a small snack bar,
windows floor-to ceiling, and pay-as-you-use telescopes. Amelia’s eyes lit
up like candles as she bounded over to the observation glass.

     “It’s beautiful!  It’s the most wonderful thing I’ve ever seen.  It’s
the Ginza!  And there’s Chiba!  Oh, it’s too perfect!”

     “I thought you were afraid of heights?” Gourry asked, as he joined
her.  All of a sudden everything seemed blurry to him, and it all began to
spin.  He wobbled on his feet and Amelia awkwardly caught him, helping his
balance only somewhat.

     “How many fingers am I holding up?” Amelia produced four fingers and
a thumb and wiggled them around in hopes Gourry would come around.

     “Let’s see…that’s one…two…umm..three..f-four??”

     “Good.  Now slowly, look out the window to your left.”

     “The left?” Gourry paused, hoping someone would realize that he needed
some assistance with the left.

     “That way.”  Zel indicated with his thumb.

     Gourry carefully, slowly peered down at the great city of Tokyo and
his stomach performed an indescribable gymnastic feat. “I hate heights.”

     “Since when?”  Amelia put her hands on her hips in frustration.

     Gourry peeked out of a crack between his fingers, since he had
covered his eyes, not closed or averted them. “Geh!  Since now!”

     “Well, this all very well and good, but we’re not here to sight-see.”
Zelgadis was rapidly growing impatient.  “Come on!”

     Amelia sighed. “Oh, very well.”

     The group looked around the room, but there really wasn’t much to
see.  There was no way they could be hiding a temperamental teen in THAT
room.

     “OOOOOOOOha ha ha ha!  It seems we have hit a dead end here.”

     “I agree.”  Amelia pouted.  “I guess she’s down there,” she pointed
at the floor, “Down on the lower decks.  It’ll take AGES to find her, if
she’s even here.  What makes you think she’s here anyway?”

     “OOOOOOOOha ha ha ha!  You jump to conclusions quickly, Amelia-chan!
There is another deck - the special observation deck, on the next floor.”

     “Higher?”  Amelia was tickled pink at the idea.

     “HIGHER??” Gourry echoed, with not quite the same enthusiasm.

     “Very well then, off we go.”  Xelloss headed towards the elevator
again.

     “Not so fast.” Zelgadis frowned.  “You know where she is, don’t you?”

     “That is - .”

     “That is going to be common knowledge once I bash your head into the
wall and rearrange your earlobes.”

     “Tsk, tsk.  Your persuasion techniques aren’t quite up to snuff,
Zelgadis-kun.”

     “Where is she?”

     “You must find that out for yourselves.”  Xelloss’ grin faded into an
almost serious expression.

    Zelgadis had come to the uncomfortable conclusion that there was
nothing he could say or do to get Xelloss to spill the beans, so he
delivered the same menacing look, pushed the reporter out of the way, and
pressed the lift button, everyone following close behind.

    They were silent as they chose the final deck, the special observation deck.  The elevator
doors swung open to reveal a room much like the first, nicely furnished,
large windows and telescopes for customer use.

     However, in the middle of the room, sitting, or rather tied to a
wooden chair short, under-developed little redhead girl, who didn’t seem
pleased by this whole scenario.

     “Lina!” Zelgadis ran to untie her.

     Lina grinned, but then it faded and she casually remarked, “Needless
to say, it’s a trap.”

     Zel stopped short as a girl with long, dark blue hair, and a genuine
smile stepped out of a door on the opposite wall.

     “Hello everyone.  I expected you ten minutes ago.  There’s something
to be said for  punctuality.  I’m going to…ummmm….I think it’s
time…uhh…hmmmm…”

    “Who are you?” Zelgadis looked into her evil green eyes.

     “My name is Sylpheel Rada, and I kidnapped her because….well, you
see, I….”

    “Sylpheel!”  Naga ran towards her boss.  “I tried to kill him, really
I did, but you see -.”

    “Naga?” Tears clouded Amelia’s soft blue eyes.  “Gracia?  Sister,
how could you?  My own flesh and blood betrayed our solemn oath to
justice!”

     “Your solemn oath you mean!  I kill for a living, little sister.  I
make my money off death - off murder! OOOOOOOOha ha ha ha!  It’s high time
you learn not everyone loves justice and law and order.  Sylpheel
understands me, don’t you?”  and without waiting for a response, she went
to stand by her employers side.

     “I don’t mean to be rude, but who ARE you?”  the kidnapper looked at
Naga in confusion.

     “Y-you’re my boss.  We work together - we’re assassins, you and I!”

     “You must have me mistaken!  I work for….let’s see now…I work for….
YOU!”

     She was pointing at Xelloss.  Zelgadis spun around to give Xelloss
one of those if-looks-could-kill stares.

     “How dare you deceive us!”

     “Yeah!”  Felia gave Xelloss a healthy swat on the back of the head.”

     “Now, now, let me explain!”  Xelloss tried, but Amelia joined in too.

     “It’s my job to rid the world of fiends such as yourself!  Prepare
to meet your maker.”

     “Oh contriare!  I have already met Zelas!”

     “Say who?”

     “Would someone kind help me out over here!”  Lina reminded them.
Gourry, who seemed to have nothing better to do, obediently trotted over
to help Lina with the ropes.

     “Look, I don’t mean to be rude, but WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON AROUND
HERE?!!!”  Lina’s eyes seemed to glow an even deeper shade of red.

     Naga took a deep breath.  “Okay, the story so far:  I’m an assassin
who woks for her.” She again pointed to Sylpheel, “She doesn’t seem to
remember me - only him,”  now she pointed to Xelloss, “Who seems to have
been behind your kidnapping, but was pretending to be a reporter from
Canada or something.  Now I work for him,” she indicated Zelgadis, “I was
hired to kill him, but he caught me and gave me a second chance as his
bodyguard, not that he seems to need one. At the same time, my little
sister, who I haven’t seen in a coon’s age (bless the creator) just showed
up on the scene with this idiot,”  she pointed Lina to Gourry, was just
getting the last of the ropes, “and they wanted to help save you.”

     “AHEM!”  came from Felia’s direction.'

     “Sorry.  And Felia, who seemed to know Xelloss, wanted to help you
cause of a restaurant or something.  That’s all I know.”

     “Gosh, it sounds just like Days Of Our Lives!”  Amelia added, perky
as could be.

     “I’m glad we got that cleared up.”  Xelloss smiled happily.

     “You’re behind this!  Damn you!”  Zel wasted not time picking up
Xelloss and throwing him out the window.

     There was a brief pause of silence before Xelloss’ head peaked back
in.  “Zelgadis-kun, that wasn’t very neighborly of you.”

     Zel’s eyes bugged out of their sockets and Sylpheel fainted dead
away.

     “How are you doing that?”  Naga was entranced.

     “It’s very simple really.”

     Naga spun around and glared at the crowd with evil eyes.  “Holiday
Wind!”

     A massive gust of hurricane-force wind blasted into observatory.  The
wind caught Lina off guard and hurled her out the opposite window.

     “LINA!!” Zel ran to the window as he watched her plummet to the
concrete blow.

     “RAY WING!” she called and she stopped her rapid descent and began
to fly upward.  Zelgadis was beginning to wonder if he hadn’t inhaled
something he shouldn’t have.  He turned around to look at Naga, who had
also jumped out the window and flew up the top of the tower.

     Felia was having a time of it, what with her enemy possessing people,
Naga the murderer making her way into the sky and her best customer taking
flight as well.  She backed into the corner.

     “If anyone wants to see my lunch, it’ll be on display in about ten
seconds!”  she held her stomach in disbelief as Lina floated past the
window and seemed to have no control over what was happening with gravity
whatsoever.

     Gourry, meanwhile, had sentenced himself to go stand in the corner as
 well, probably so he wouldn’t have to bear the distance between the ground
and himself.

     Amelia was ready to hop out to windows and join the party but Zel
kept her from it.

     “I bet it’s not that hard you know.  I could do it - I could!”

     Zel grabbed her wrist.  “I am not seeing this…there is no way this is
real!”

     All of a sudden he heard something that sounded very much like “VU
REYWA!!!” from the top of the tower.

     Again there was a short pause and then they saw, way off in the
distance, and giant mass of stony mountain rise up an form something that
might be a rat, or a mouse or something animal-like, living large and
heading right for them.

     “Houston, we have a problem.” Amelia uttered, her eyes transfixed on
the beast.

     “OOOOOOOOOOOOOha ha ha ha!” echoed over the doomed city of Tokyo.

     Xelloss came in from the window and landed by the unbelieving Zelgadis.

     “What’s going on?  Who - what in God’s name are you?”

     “I’m just playing a game.”  Xelloss replied innocently.

     “A game?” Zel slammed his fist into what was left of the windowpane.

    “Innocent people are going to die.”

     “Will they?”  Xelloss smiled mysteriously.

     Amelia stomped on his foot.  “Call off that monster in the name of
justice, or I’ll-.”

     “You’ll what?  What will you do to me?  Call me names?  Are you going
to hurt my feelings to death?”

     “That’s not funny!”  Felia stood up and glared at the crazy man.

     “Ah, but funny is in the eye of the beholder.  This whole adventure
is very funny, with you, the scientist, and you he chef, and you the cop.

     And Zelgadis as a king!  That DOES make me laugh!”

     “You’re twisted!”  Felia slapped him across the face.

     “No, I’m Xelloss.  Time for more fun!”  He backed away from Zelgadis
and drew a sword out of thin air.  He brought it down on Felia’s earrings,
and the headpiece snapped in two.

     A golden light enveloped her, her diner outfit became golden as well
and her body became longer, wider until the light subsided and Felia/dragon
that looked like a lemming spread it’s colossal wings, and went clear
through the roof, through the tower structure, knocking off the entire
eighty-three meters above them.

     Naga didn’t seem concerned, and she just stood where the tower top
had been, as she continued to watch her creation amble it’s way through
the outer reaches of Tokyo and into the heart of the city.

     But the special observatory was without a roof, and all within it had
acquired a nasty view of Naga and her G-string (god only knows where THAT
cam from).

     Felia, or whatever she now was, was flying circles over the Diet
Center, so at least she was out of everybody’s way for the moment.

     “That dragon will be here shortly.”

     “What did you do to Felia?” Zel asked, more repulsed than concerned.

     “She’s a dragon - what can I say?  But the golem dragon will make
it’s way here soon, so I suggest you do something.”

     “So it’s a dragon then?”  Amelia asked, looking at the strange thing
as it trampled the residential areas.

     Xelloss looked up at Naga.  “Well, sort of.  There’s no time to be
angry, Zelgadis-kun.  You must do something to stop it now, or else…”

     “What would you have me do, a song and dance?  You had the power to
unleash it, you can damn well stop it!”

     “Now where’s the fun it that, huh?” Xelloss eyed Naga’s and his own
creation.  “You could fly too, if you wanted to.”

     Amelia grinned, half ready to sprout wings when someone gave the
word.

     “Just say Ray Wing, and you’re off.  The sky’s about the only place
it can’t stomp you.”

     “That’s stupid.  I’ll have you know there’s no way in hell that that
will ever - .”

     “RAY WING!” Amelia shot up to where Lina was standing dumfounded and
Naga was laughing hideously.

     “Okay then, all right.  RAY WING!”  and Zel followed them into the
sky.

     Xelloss grinned.  “What about you?”  he looked at Gourry.

     “W-what about me?”  Gourry bit down on his tongue hard in order to
keep his cool.

     “Well, unless you want to get stomped to a tiny weenie pulp, I
suggest you do something.”

     “What should I do?”

     “That is hardly my decision.”  Xelloss was having large fun with
this.

     “But, if you were m-me, what would you d-do?”  Gourry hoped reciting
‘There is no place like home’ would work, but he had his doubts.

     “Well, if I were you, I would do the SUKUCHI!”

     “What’s that?”

     Xelloss smiled.  He was always willing to help a dipstick in need.

    “Well, you elevate on your tiptoes and you spin around.  You leap into the
 air, legs spread apart.  Oh yes, and lots of arm movements.  The SUKUCHI
gods like that.”

     Gourry, tentatively obeying all he was instructed decided to inquire:
    “Gosh, Xelloss-san, if I wasn’t as smart as I am, I’d think this was ballet
or something…”

     “Hush!  You can’t imagine what the SUKUCHI gods would do if they
heard you say that!”

     “Oh.”

     “Just keep up the good work, and the SUKUCHI gods won’t let you
down."

 

     Meanwhile, high in the sky, a king with a blue decease wasn’t having
a good day.  He floated upward, arms crossed, displaying a facial
expression of both amazement and unenjoyment.  It may have been Amelia’s
true dream to fly like a bird, but he was doing it so that he didn’t get
squashed like an unimportant bug.

     “Who are you?” Lina demanded the woman in black.  “What do you want?”

     “OOOOOOOOOha ha ha ha!  Lina, Lina, you are so strange.  I am Naga
the White Serpent, your most powerful, sexiest Ultimate Rival!”

     “You are disturbed is who you are!”

     “OOOOOOOOha ha ha ha!  Lina, I shall see you perish by my hand!  You
do not remember your real life, but fortunately I DO!  Prepare to die a
painful death, Lina Inverse, for this is your last moment.  DEMONA
CRYSTAL!!!!”

     “FLARE ARROW!”  Lina canceled out the attack.  “How did I do that?”

     “That is a fine question, without your memory back.  You have no way
of really remembering your past and your true power.  You brainwashed
everyone to believe you were the one with true power, and I, your flaky
sidekick, when in truth it was just the opposite.  You are not worthy of
life in this world, nor any other!  LAGUNA BLADE!”

     Lina couldn’t think, and her instincts could not conjure up a reaction
quickly enough.  She blocked the magic attack with her arms in front, but
prepared herself for impact.

     All of a sudden she felt someone’s arms around her and she was jolted
out of the path of the spell.  She looked up to see that strange faced man
again.

     “Thank you.  What went wrong with her?  She didn’t seem awful
before!”

     “I’ll bet to high hell it’s Xelloss!”  that phrase struck a cord with
 him, as though he had said it somewhere before.

     “She said I had a memory from before, but that makes no sense.  My
history as a pop artist is clear as day.  But why am I able to use this
magic?”

     “Maybe for the same reason I am?”  Zelgadis replied.

     “OOOOOha ha ha ha!  I have had enough.  You provide an amusing
challenge, Lina Inverse, but that is all.  And right now I do not feel like
a challenge.  So you must die, and what better way than by my hand!
Zelgadis, step away from her!”

     Zel said nothing, and did not move from her side.

     “OOOOOOOha ha ha ha!  This is priceless.  Mr. Ugly and Miss Bitch
stick it out together until the very last. Have it your way.  I have always
loved those cliché love stories!”

     “WAIT!”  Amelia stepped in front of the two, arms outstretched.   “Even if you were once Gracia, I can see that now you are Naga, and Naga is not any sister of mine.  Justice rules supreme and doesn’t over look family or friends.  I am forced to tell you that if you wish to kill them,
you must go through me first!”

     Naga laughed into the back of her hand.  “Is that supposed to be a
threat?  Is that supposed to make me back down from killing Lina Inverse?
I have wished to get rid of you since the day you where born in Seiyluun!”

     “You know there is no such place!  We were born in the states, you
know that!”

     “How little you remember, Amelia-hime!”

     “I am no princess!”

     “We were both princesses until mother was killed.  Then I became Naga
the White Serpent, because I couldn’t stand you!”

     “Liar!  You are the most hateful person I have ever met, and it
shames me to call you sister!” Amelia’s eyes stung with tears.

     “That is a laugh, that you are embarrassed by me!  Think of the years
I spent, trying to rid myself of ‘Amelia’s big sister’, the most horrid
title given on this Earth or any other.  You think anyone who knows you is
not ashamed by your childish clumsiness or your obsessive justice babble?
You are a fine one to point fingers!”

     “STOP IT!”  Lina screamed, it seemed not just to Naga and Amelia, but
perhaps all of Tokyo, all of the world.  “I am Lina Inverse, bandit-killer
and dra-mata?  I wield the Dragon Slave, and have used Giga Slave to save
our world?  The Lord of Nightmares possessed me to destroy Hellmaster.  I
come from Zeferia, and I have an older sister named Luna.  I met Gourry
and Amelia and Zelgadis, Sylpheel and Martina and Xelloss, Felia and
Valgarve, Vrumngun and Zangulas.  But first I met you, Naga.  Weird, and
loud, energetic and even fun sometimes.  Self-interested and greedy, easily
entertained and rude at times.  Not as powerful as me - it’s a gift, and I
have studied longer.  Usually botches summoning spells, loves food as much
as I do, and loves to laugh!  My friend, and yes, yes, ‘Ultimate Rival’,
Naga the White Serpent.”

     Naga’s eyes went from empty blue, to a misty color. She blinked, as
they sparkled azure, and she smiled gently, and looked at Lina.  “You
remember.”

     “So do you.”  Lina smiled back.  “And when we get back, my number one
priority will be to throttle you, got that?”

     “If you think you can, little Lina!”
 

End Part Ten.