Zeros managed to stumble out of his car and into the semi-crowded parking lot.  What was the big deal about Americans anyway? He grumped to himself.  Well, he was Canadian but to the Japanese, same difference.  All week people had been bugging him about his heritage.  So, what's America like?  What's up with Clinton?  And spitting out knowledge of English words like nobody's business.  And when he told them he was Canadian, man, there was no end to it!  Not to mention everything that the Japanese said was followed up by 'eh' as either a bad joke or a peace offering of some sort.  Well, that was the price he paid for his '98 documentary on LIFE IN JAPAN.
He was hungry and that was okay because this stop at DRAGON FEAST, a Japanese sounding restaurant that was actually North American influenced was where he was to film next.  The owner was supposed to be a real crackpot, though.  That was all right too, because working in the media he had met his fair share of those.
    He gathered up his equipment and entered the busy little diner.  When the customers saw the camera, a few of them headed for the door.  Others spun out a rapid conversation in Japanese, which Zeros couldn't make out, only knowing enough to carry on a light conversation.  A short red-head sat at the counter, devouring her edibles at an impossible speed.

    Felia-san!  You didn't tell me he was filming today.  I wouldn't have ordered so much!"

"Gomen ne, Lina.  I almost forgot as well." An oddly dressed woman with long blond hair and BIG earrings stepped out from the kitchen.  "Hello, Zeros-san.  Welcome to Dragon Feast.  I am owner, manager and chef of this humble establishment, Felia Ui Copt."

    Zeros smiled.  "I like your hat."

    "Thanks." Felia blushed as she handed him a bizarre concoction in a milkshake glass.  "It's called Golden Surprise.  Try it."

    Zeros took a gigantic gulp of the drink.

    "I wouldn't do that if I were you." Lina warned through a mouth full of partly chewed burger.

    Zeros' eyes bugged out, which was truly an occasion.  His eyebrows twitched uncontrollably and his mouth was set ablaze.  He slammed the glass down onto the counter. "W-what's in this stuff?!"

    "A unique blend of tea, mustard, horse radish, liver juice and a touch of  lemon juice and maple syrup is all.  Simply my greatest creation, but nothing to brag about!  Like I said before, totally unique."

    "Yeah, it's different all right!" Zeros fought the disgusting after taste away.

    "I warned you." the red-head had finished her colossal meal.

    "So, can I get you anything else?" Felia offered innocently.

    "You know what?  I'm actually not hungry at all.  Still full from that late breakfast.  But I'd really like to begin filming it's okay with you?"

    "Oh, yeah, sure.  Lina, would you mind helping us out here.  You've had some experience, I know."

    "Great." Zeros started to set up his video camera.  At this point anything was okay as long as he didn't have to stomach anymore Golden Surprise.  He finished with the camera and got out the boom.  He set up a small light attached to the camera and fiddled to get the right effect.  "So, Ryu-Sama, about how many customers do you get for your usual lunch time crowd?"

    "Ryu-Sama?!  My name is Felia!  I'll thank you to remember that."

    "Jesus.  Really Ryu-Sama, it' just a pet name."

    "It's Felia!  Mazoku!!!"  she produced a gigantic mace from underneath her long skirt.  "You will pay!"

    "Easy, Felia-san."  the red-head stood up and blocked her friends path.  "Such gory violence isn't necessary."  She took a healthy swat at Zeros.  "See?  We got our point across without a lot of bloodshed."

    "You're…you are Lina Inverse?!  Wow.  This will be great for my documentary.  What greater promo than an exclusive interview with the world renown artist Lina Inverse?"

    "Hold it, buddy.  Nobody makes money off of me but my manager.  I refuse."

    "Come on!  Five percent commission from all the sales.  I'm selling these to people who are interested in Japan, especially exchange students.  It'll really add up."

    "Ten percent and you have a deal." Lina sat back on her stool.  She didn't need Martina to negotiate.  Why, ten percent was easily more than her share.

    "Ten?!" Zeros exclaimed.  He thought about it a moment.  Well, to get Lina Inverse, it was most certainly worth it.  "Yeah, I suppose I can let you have it."
Felia's  smiled melted into a permanent scowl.  "What the hell is going on around here!  This is my restaurant!  I built it with my bear hands!  I cook all the meals!  I wash all the dishes!  I scrub the floors by hand, down on my knees!  I put my sweat and blood into this stupid joint and she gets the glory??  So she can carry a tune.  Wow.  That's so impressive!  I can sing too, you know!  If that's what it takes to get any recognition in this cruel, unjust world." She paused for a deep breath.  "Home, home on the range, where the deer and the antelope play!  Where seldom is heard, a discouraging word  and the sky's are not cloudy all day!"

    "Dear God, it's like a listening to a sick walrus!" Zeros bellowed to Lina over the unbearable racket.  "Ryu-Sama!  Please have mercy!"

    Felia discontinued her 'lovely' serenade.  "Sick walrus am I?!  Ryu-Sama?!!  That's the straw that broke the dragon's back!!  Prepare to die!!" she once again produced her mace and this time Lina didn't interfere as the fierce restaurant owner followed the mazoku, in hot pursuit.

    "Does that woman always have to talk in exclamations?" Zeros demanded at no one in particular as he managed to momentarily escape Felia's wrath, seeking sanctuary in the men's washroom.

    "You can't hide in there!" she held her mace at the ready.  "This is my restaurant!  I clean that restroom everyday.  I'm allowed to go in there."

    "Fine with me but I'm busy at the moment." Zeros' voice was muffled.  "If you enter I'm not responsible for the consequences."

    Felia gasped in sudden realization and fell over with a shriek.  What had she almost done?!  "Well, you can't stay in there for too long.  There are no windows, so this way is the only escape.  I'll wait here till dark if I have to."

    "But what would your customers think?"  Zeros' voice sounded triumphant, although slightly difficult to make out.

    "C-customers?" Felia stammered.

    "Well, Felia-san, this is a café, is it not?" Lina remained neutral as she reminded her temperamental friend of the circumstances that went with owning a eatery.

    "Okay, no need to panic." Felia coached herself.  "Lina, you stand guard here and tell me if he comes out.  I'll stay in the kitchen and-."

    "No way."  Lina got to her feet and headed for the door.  "As much as I'd love to help you out and stand watch at the men's bathroom all day," she grinned sarcastically "I have to prepare for the concert tonight.  I couldn't be seen wearing the same thing twice to a concert so I'll see you tomorrow.  "Oh." She winked as she opened the door.  "I love the earrings.  They're such a nice touch."
    "They are not earrings!" Felia exploded once more but Lina left before she had time to spin off one of her giant lectures.

End Part Four